Cryptic much?

I am generally a good person, I think. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I prefer to focus on how things can become rather than on how terrible they may be now. I prefer to try to understand where someone is coming from and their motivations, talking with them one-on-one rather than publicly calling them out for their blatant hypocrisy.


But for a while now, I have been fighting a bitterness that tries to creep in as I've learned things about people I once trusted, or at least wanted to, or how deceived most people are about where someone really is at, and how that can affect people's perceptions and understanding of integrity in general. I'm floored at how compartmentalized so many keep their lives, how bent on maintaining images they are. I've lost respect for people I once respected because I see them consistently making decisions that are clearly not leading to what they claim to want or believe, and I see them deceiving themselves as well as others. It's sad, but I have to stop caring for my own sanity.


And then there's the recognition that others may have thought the same of me at some point, and I've been grateful for those who kept an arm extended for me when I eventually realized my own fault. And I may be wrong to be upset. I may be ignoring the colors and shades in my own eye. I'm defensively caught up in how their actions may threaten my well-being and the significant people's perceptions of me or others. I'm easily bothered by false information and perceptions, so that certainly comes into play. But then, isn't it fair to be upset about most of this?

-DIK